Things You Must Never Ask a Triathlon Coach

July 14, 2016


Every so often Dt has an Ironman squad (everyone seems to get dumb at the same time.)  Dreamfar’s 2009 Ironman team was a lou-lou of a squad.  Most of them had come up from Sprint tri to train for Ironman Madison in the course of three years so of course we thought we’d heard every question.  Wrong.  Of course.


Kaitlin, who is about 3 foot two and about the cutest thing possible, and who was never shy about asking a question came up to me, this is after a couple of 70.3 seasons mind you, and asked, “Coach my hoo-haa hurts. what do I do?”  I assumed her “hoo-haa” hadn’t hurt from 70.3 training rides so I didn’t think it was an issue now.  I’d already been training athletes for marathon and triathlon for over ten years and had done everything from tape ducting a woman’s breasts so they wouldn’t hurt past mile 15 to doing emergency tampon shopping with ten minutes to the starting gun.  So I was well prepared for “hoo-haa” questions.


“Kaitlin dear, let’s try using different types of creams and maybe a split front seat.  I’m afraid though that your body will have to get used to the uncomfortable friction.  Let’s see how it goes.”  To which she said, “Well, no one is getting lucky tonight.”  She seem satisfied with the answer and I thought I was done.  Then she asked, “Coach, when guys ride where do they put their junk?”


There are actually no questions you can’t ask the coach within the context of training.  There are few things that strip us down to the fundamentals of being human than training at this level and it’s pretty much all on the table.  So to speak.  So make sure to ask what you need to ask: it's all part of training.

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